"Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. So great is my veneration of the
Bible that the earlier my children begin to read it, the more confident will be my hope that they
will prove useful citizens of their country and respectful members of society."-John Adams
"Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are
indispensable supports. And let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be
maintained without religion. Reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality
can prevail in exclusion of religious principle."-George Washington, Farewell Address
"Laws that forbid the carrying of arms disarm only those who are neither
inclined nor determined to commit crimes. Such laws make things worse for
the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage
than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater
confidence than an armed man."-Thomas Jefferson's "Commonplace Book," 1774-1776
"Those who are willing to sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither!"-Benjamin Franklin
"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt
and vicious, they have more need of masters."-Benjamin Franklin
"Political correctness is tyranny;
tyranny with manners."-Charlton Heston
Linux: Because rebooting is for adding hardware
Solaris: Because you don't need to reboot to add hardware
Windows: Because rebooting is for adding hardware, adding software,
regularly scheduled downtime, and should also be done on a daily basis to
keep the machine running.
"Windows has detected that you have moved your mouse. Please reboot this
machine for changes to take effect. Restart now?"
"The best way to accelerate a win95 system is at 9.81 m/s^2"
"One world, one web, one program" -- Microsoft Ad Campaign
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer" -- Nazi Ad Campaign
"She has a 108 I.Q., she reads at the fifth grade level, and her hair
smells like Fruit Loops."
"Yeah? Well I eat Fruit Loops for breakfast."
-Bart and Lisa Simpson
"The Kenyan government has formed a committee to investigate problems
that may be caused by the so-called millennium bug -- but its final
report is due to be published months after the much-prophesised
collapse of non-compliant computer systems. ... The Daily Nation
newspaper reported that the government formed the committee on
October 19 and ordered a final report on the consequences of the
millennium bug in 18 months time."
"Some know me as...THE DARK GRAY TABLE CLOTH
OF INIQUITY!!! It's really quite dark! The color, I mean.
'Dark Gray' is technically what it's called but it looks
black. You wouldn't know the difference, probably."
"Then I shall unleash a firestorm of humility the likes of which
the universe has never seen."
-Space Ghost, SGCTC
"Can I have your name please, love?" "Dawson. Rose Dawson."
"I'll shoot you. I have a gun and everything."
-Ben Stiller, The Zero Effect
"If the show is too tightly constucted there's no room for God to appear.
We try to give Him the option of showing up on certain nights"
-Bono, Chicago Tribune article, June 22, 1997
LETTERMAN: "What's the deal with the lemon?"-Late Night With David Letterman, June 10, 1997
BONO: "Well, it could have been an artichoke,
but we were looking for a practical fruit..."
"I'm troubled when an FBI van is stolen and weapons are taken
and the FBI van is destroyed. That's troubling."
-Attorney General Janet Reno making yet another intelligent comment
"Clearly, if it is a spice rack,
it is not a spice rack of the best ilk."
-David Foley, Kids in the Hall
"I shall never believe that God plays dice with the world."
"I'd like to come back to more earthly things instead of
tearing galaxies and solar systems apart and talk about
-CMU Professor Curtis Meyer, Phys. Mech. II
"Hello, I'm Leonard Nemoy. The following tale of the alien encounters is true. And by true I
mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end, isn't that the
real truth? The answer is no. Our story begins on a Friday morning, in a little town
-From a recent Simpsons episode
"It's a holiday filled with wonderful memories and mitre saws."
-From a Hechinger commercial
"Do customers ever change their requirements?"
Ha, Ha, Ha! The only customers who don't change
their requirements are dead customers."-From the C++ FAQ list
"Our creative director said that the O2 machines had the warmth, and
visual charm, of the classic American toaster. On the other hand,
perhaps this wind tunnel testing stuff is becoming too widespread."-Wistar Rinearson, on the look of the new Silicon Graphics O2
"I share the stage with the entire cast of Star Trek and Kenny G.
Who's the nerd now?"-some guy on the Star Trek 30th anniversary show
"The julia set needs to be just a wee bit more to the left."-Adam Finkelstein, SIGGRAPH 96 notes
The flim is okie-dokie.-The Swedish Chef, The Muppet Movie
The most enjoyable part of directing or filmmaking for me is
editing. It is literally the language of filmmaking. Is is right
there, and you learn constantly how dumb you are and how much you have to
learn every time you take a picture into the cutting room.-William Friedkin
Are you prepared to forsake the Western concept of place
as a location defined by two crossed lines?-Architect, Home
-No. 78 Chorus, St. Matthew Passion (BWV 244), J.S. Bach
Wir setzen uns mit Tränen nieder
Und rufen dir im Grabe zu:
Ruhe santfe, santfe ruh!
Ruht, ihr ausgesognen Glieder!
Euer Grab und Leichenstein
Soll dem ängstlichen Gewissen
Ein bequemes Ruhekissen
Und der Seelen Ruhstatt sein.
Hochst vergnügt schlummern da die Augen ein.
In tears of grief, dear Lord, we leave Thee.
Hearts cry to Thee, o Saviour dear.
Lie Thou softly, softly here.
Rest They worn and bruised body.
At Thy grave, o Jesus blest,
May the sinner, worn with weeping,
Comfort find in Thy dear keeping,
And the weary soul find rest.
Sleep in peace, sleep Thou in the Father's breast.
Film is art.
Television is furniture.
"There are two types of people in this world: those who
like Neil Diamond and those who don't."
-Phil, Groundhog Day
Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
"Look, I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a girl he met
in a restaraunt who then turned out to be the daughter of a
kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to a childhood lover who
she'd last seen on a deserted island and who turned out fifteen years
later to be the leader of the French underground."-Nick Rivers and Hillary Flamond, Top Secret
"I know, it all sounds like some bad movie."
"We're gonna have to come in pretty low."-Ted Striker and Elaine in Airplane II
"Is that difficult, Ted?"
"Coming in low is part of every textbook approach.
It's just something you have to do when you land."
"According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place
to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York
came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much.
Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime."-David Letterman
"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!"-Phil, Groundhog Day
1. At the rise of the hand of the policeman, stop rapidly. Do not
pass him or otherwise disrespect him.-from an official Japanese guide for English-speaking drivers, 1936
2. If pedestrian obstacle your path, tootle horn melodiously. If he
continue to obstacle, tootle horn vigorously and utter vocal worning
such as "Hi, Hi."
3. If wandering horse by roadside obstacle your path, beware that he do
not take fright as you pass him. Go soothingly by, or stop by roadside
till he pass away.
4. If road mope obstacle your path, refrain from pass on hill or
round curve. Follow patiently till road arrive at straight level
stretch. Then tootle horn melodiously and step on, passing at left
and waving hand courteously to honorable road mope in passing.
5. Beware of greasy corner where lurk skid demon. Cease step on,
approach slowly, round cautiously, resume step on gradually.
It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible,
whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.-Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet, A. C. Doyle
"Time is God's way of keeping things from happening all at once."-anonymous
If you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably at the Ice
Capades. -Yakko Warner
Just because you go through a lot of hammers each month doesn't necessarily
mean you're a hard worker. It may just mean you have a lot to learn about
proper hammer maintainance. -Jack Handey
A woman needs a man-U2, Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World
Like a fish needs a bicycle.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why
several of us died of tuberculosis. -Jack Handey
When you think of pasta just don't think "noodles". Think more than that.
Think "sauce and noodles".
Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all
right now. We're fine. We're all fine here...now...thank you. How
are you? -Han Solo, Star Wars
If you're traveling in a time machine, and you're eating corn on the cob,
I don't think it's going to affect things one way or the other. But here's
the point I'm trying to make: Corn on the cob is good, isn't it?
O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how
unsearchable are his judgements, and his ways past finding out!Romans 11:33-36
For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?
Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again?
For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be the
glory for ever. Amen
Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of
striking surface attached to the end of a long stick. -Jack Handey
Oh it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes and curtains in the window
and wheels, it looks like a big Tylenol. -Johnny, Airplane!
Bruce Sherwood Quote Page