THE CREED (tm) of the PAVERS, traditional version - by Pete Gontier

We believe in a completely Paved Earth.

Earth is cursed with trees, shrubs, grass,
and scurrying creatures. With every breath
We act to right this terrible wrong.

We believe in The Plan (tm).

The Plan (tm) is the final word; it brings us
the knowledge of the twin pleasures:
Speed and Convenience.

We believe food should be enjoyed.

"Nutrition" is an aberration of human nature.
The juicy Burger and hearty Beer are Our sacrament.

We believe in the Depletion of scarce natural resources.

Some see the vessel as half full; others see it as
half-empty; We pour it out on the floor and laugh.

We believe in a sky roiling with Smog.

The color blue should appear nowhere but the paint
on Our HyperCars (tm).

Revision History: Last Updated 05/01/1998